Across the globe, on a classroom floor in Perth, Australia at Curtain University is where it happened. Led by an Aboriginal woman, my month-long course in Aboriginal Studies was coming to a close as 30 students and our fearless professor sat cross-legged on the floor. We were asked to each share who we are and where we came from. The soft movement in the room after that question was announced set-off vibes of discomfort and uneasiness so much you could feel it. Why? Many honestly do not know. In a class of highly educated individuals, what appears to be the most basic question was seemingly the most difficult. Suddenly, it was my turn and I replied with the bit of information I knew: “I’m, Danish, French, part German and Norwegian.”
Yes, that was the moment. I’ve spoken to my grandparents many times about their family, my ancestors, their adventures walking miles to school, how they met, and more. My aunt and others have rigored over locating old family documents, searching historical databases and online to understand our genealogy, But, I, like many, are guilty of not making the time. My worst fear became reality when my grandpa passed away six years ago. With his passing are his stories, his memories, and his identification of who we are and where we came from.
Fortunately, I had that “ah ha” moment in Australia. The first thing I did upon arriving home was visit my grandparents and start the dialogue. During this visit, I brought a journal of questions – questions that someday I’ll re-read the answers to and feel blessed to know. I so nicely gave my grandparents gentle reminders to continue filling out the book. It became an enriching experience for them to recount their memories, and for me, it is now a window into my grandpa’s memory with the beautiful words written in his own handwriting.
I learned of his service to not one or two, but five branches of the military, his most embarrassing moments, who was his role model was, where my great grandparents were born and so much more. As I write this, I stumble upon a message he wrote to me in the book.
“I think each person is unique and no one can take another’s place. There will never be another you! Your brown eyes remind me of your mom. Because of you, we will live forever.”
The written words are something you can never get back. Challenge yourself to make the time to initiate the dialogue and begin capturing the memories on paper. To get started, think about the questions you often wonder – from silly to serious. Purchase an archival safe album, write or print your questions in the album, and give to your loved ones with an archival-safe pen for journaling their answers. You can go a step further by adding simple matted photos and embellishments to enhance the look of your special keepsake. Whichever method you choose, the important takeaway is the appreciation that you are doing something to begin the dialogue and begin to safely capture these memories. Speaking from experience, I know you won’t regret it.
The time is now!
